By Anita Chlipala | @AnitaOnLove
I love the New Year. It’s a time to hit the reset button and make sure that you’re creating the kind of life you desire. I want only the best for you in your love life, and have pulled together a few of my favorite resolutions to ensure that you get just that! So whether you’re in a relationship or single, here are ways to say hello to great love in the New Year 2016.
If you’re in a relationship:
Make the little moments count. There’s power in the mundane, and happy couples
know this. They take the everyday opportunities to connect with their partner. Sure, weekly
date nights are great, but acknowledging each other’s attempts for attention and support daily deepens connection. So next time your partner asks for you to make them a cup of tea or wants to talk about the latest headline, be present in the moment.
Build each other up. It’s so easy to slip into a negative mindset, where all we see is the things that our partner isn’t doing versus what they are doing. Have a surplus of positive interactions with your partner. Any uplifting words or actions can start a positive cycle. Acknowledge each other’s efforts, joke around, compliment often and show appreciation.
State what you need nicely. We all have requests and needs that we hope get met in a relationship. Stating them in a positive way can make a difference between getting them met or getting your partner defensive.
Try new things together. Couples who do thrilling things together feel more satisfied in their relationship. Develop a variety of interests, especially those that both of you would find exhilarating. Whether it is taking a vacation to a new place, seeing a new band you both love, or visiting the latest exhibit at the local museum, doing something new or different is key to long-term relationship satisfaction.
Touch more. There are many benefits to physical touch, including increasing trust and attachment between partners. Make it a point to hold hands, cuddle and have more sex. You’ll feel closer to your partner.
If you’re single:
Stay focused. It’s easy to waste time on people who give you butterflies but aren’t ready for commitment or who can’t give you what you need. You think they will come around once they realize how awesome you are, but that probably won’t happen. Your time and efforts are valuable, so save them for someone whose goals are the same as yours.
Take action. I meet a lot of people who get so dejected by dating that they stop dating. Results only happen with action. Thinking about having a boyfriend won’t get you a boyfriend. Put yourself in situations where you can meet someone, ask your friends to set you up, and get on online dating.
Date some “maybes.” If you have a type – your “yes guy” – and it hasn’t worked out in the past, you may need to expand your type. Give people who may initially be a “maybe” a chance. And as long as a first date hasn’t gone terribly bad, have a second date if you’re still unsure. Sometimes guys need more time to warm up and show their charming and fun self!
Get support. Talk with friends who can pull you out of any pessimistic dating funk and help you keep your hope for love. It’s easy to stay stuck, so an outside perspective and support can give you a more realistic view!
Be realistic. Like a lot of things in life that take work, so does love. Date with a purpose but understand that for many singles, it takes time and effort to find someone. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth.
Cheers to a fabulous love in 2016!